The American Dream Is Unfortunately a Nightmare
The American Dream is the aspirational belief in the US that all individuals are entitled to the opportunity for success and upward social mobility through hard work.
We all know there are no guarantees in life and an opportunity for success is just that, an opportunity, a chance, a shot at the brass ring. Even if every individual did have an opportunity, we know it’s often not an equal opportunity depending on where one starts from. This inequity aside, we honestly don’t have a good definition for success. What IS success? What IS upward? We also know that hard work is not the golden key to material success or upward mobility because some of the hardest workers we have are the least materially wealthy such as farm workers, nurses, teachers, sanitation workers, construction, etc. and some of the laziest, least hard working are the wealthiest. So the American Dream as stated above is not only ill-defined but also a myth.
Certainly, hard work comes in many forms and also includes rigorous schooling, toiling away in laboratories, tinkering in the shed, practicing an instrument for years and all manner of endeavors that are not easy. And we also know that many people who pursue such things do often get rewarded with better jobs, fulfilling careers and even material success. Yet, even the word hard doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone. Some things that seem hard to some come easy to others and vice versa.
As the future arrives, day by day and year by year, we see the true costs of our past and present “successes”: Overpopulation, Degrading Ecosystems, Climate Change, Mental Illness, Gun Violence, Increasing Income Disparity, Rising Costs, Rising Debt, Opioid Epidemic, Loss of Biodiversity, Rising Frustration, Deeper Divisions, Increased Stress, Uglification of Nature, Disconnection from Nature and more. These are the facts. So even if we personally may experience a modicum of personal success and have a roof over our heads and food on the table, the world around us becomes less fun and more arduous and our own success more delusional and tenuous. It’s a little like living in a safe, fire-proof room in a house that’s on fire. Eventually the house will fall and the room won’t be enough to save you. You have to think of the Whole House to live a good life.
Yes, the Dream is generally represented as a house with a lawn and two cars in the driveway, a dog, and the kids put though college and then to retire comfortably. That’s how you know you made it. You have to hold a good job for a full lifetime to acheive it too. Very likely, nowadays your spouse also has to work and so those two kids probably had to spend a lot of time on their own and with their similarly abandoned, bored friends and on their devices and probably feel quite anxious about their own futures while at the same time probably not really being equipped to deal with it. This vision of success belongs in the post-war world of the 50’s when Father Knew Best. It’s not even materially obtainable for many young folks even now so it’s becoming the American Fantasy before our eyes. But we can reclaim a MUCH better dream.
A Good Life is what we all want. Increasingly, we are making it more difficult to secure for ourselves and our children but it doesn’t have to be that way. All that is needed is a mental shift to the Big Picture, the Community, the World at Large—a Holistic Teamwork Approach for the Good of All, not just ourselves. We ARE them and they ARE us. We ARE our brothers’ and sisters’ and cousins’ and animals’ and plants’ keepers. We do care, though we may forget or conveniently sweep our feelings under the rug. Our ideal selves all want to share the burdens and increase the bounty, though we may mistakenly insulate ourselves and prevent the things we want. I’m not speaking of some Communist or Socialist dystopia where we are made to conform to the state’s ideals and needs. Everything I’m talking about is within the framework of a free, democratic but simply more enlightened society.
There is nothing wrong with the basic concept of the American Dream. Dreams are aspirational and can be Good when they are the right dreams. The current American Dream fails in its definitions and practice it has become a an aimless, cloudy fantasy because we don’t actually know what real, sustainable success is or looks like. The real Dream should be the kind we can gladly hand down to our children and grandchildren.
If we were immortal, we would not allow our world to degrade because it would be spoiling our own futures but because we only live for an average of 75-80 years we are taken to improving our own condition for that limited time of adulthood from 20-80, sixty short years to have a good life, eighty if we live to 100. How many times have we heard someone say, “Well I’ll be dead by the time that happens so it won’t be my problem?” This is the height of mortal selfishness and the opposite of good stewardship. It becomes an excuse to do whatever, so long as you get yours and bounce the check to the undertaker—children and grandchildren be damned. We should learn to tap into our immortal selves and by doing so send our love and care forward to our future selves and our progeny. Our dream belongs to the greater Good.
Fortunately, not everyone thinks in this prevalent outdated way and millions of people already deeply care about the world we will leave and the world we are making and they also know what we are doing now can’t last, is not sustainable, and deep down, it is neither Good nor Right. It MUST be fixed soon. Everything has a breaking point and I believe most people are acting like lemmings heading to the cliff’s edge, the point where it all breaks down and flies apart. We see it in the political and world unrest and so it’s time to do something about it! Dream better.
Success is beautiful. Success is mental health and happiness. Success is freedom. Success is Love. Success is forever.
If you’re going to dream, why not dream better? Why dream so small, so shallowly, so incompletely? In my American Dream we are much happier people, not living in constant anxiety and fear. In my dream, we don’t measure ourselves by the number of things we possess or our job titles or our advantages over others. We learn to be completely satisfied with less of everything and get rid of the burdens of hyper-materialism that plagues us through life (even causing us to rent millions of storage spaces for the overflow of stuff we don’t seem to need). We learn that enough is enough and we feel a meaningful connection to the World and to others. We enjoy life more fully.
In my American Dream we aren’t obsessed with trivial things such as who a person loves or how they worship or whether they worship and we certainly aren’t obsessed with money, an Imaginary Construct of the human mind. We are more interesting and more interested in the world, cultures, languages and wisdom. We don’t take things for granted and we fight for others’ success as we fight for our own. Your dream doesn’t come true until your community’s dream comes true. We aren’t overly impressed with gadgets and luxuries and don’t compulsively spend every waking hour checking our phones and browsers with that empty feeling that never seems to get filled. We lead more fulfilling lives.
In my American Dream we revere the Earth and Nature as the truest manifestation of the Best and Greatest and Most Perfect. We don’t cavalierly pave over every inch of space and erect miles of ugly, repetitive, soul crushing strip malls and drive-though fast food restaurants. Those, dear reader, are part of the American Nightmare. Europe at least has some taste and tries pretty consistently to make their towns and cities pleasant to the eye and filled with charm. Where’s the charm in an endless series of identical franchise shops and restaurants? We have good designers and architects here too so why do we always settle for the least common denominator and least imaginative designs possible. Why do we make such a physically beautiful continent look so ugly? It’s a crime against Nature that few ever talk about. Details matter.
I dwell on this because this ugliness eventually translates into the people who are surrounded by it and are raised in that environment as it gradually brainwashes them into accepting mediocrity as the norm. We learn to associate the right mix of sugar, salt and fat as tasting good so that we even crave it at times. Our food is so processed and manufactured and is brought to us by a miraculously efficient business machine that makes it relatively inexpensive and very convenient. Whereas in Europe you see a far more artisanal approach to food where people care about the fresh ingredients and traditionally prepared meals. There food is better. Sure, they still love a Burger Royale at McDonald’s but they put it in it’s proper place.
I’ve lived in towns where they have some rules and regulations regarding architecture and signage and believe me, it makes a difference. It doesn’t cost much more, if anything, to design something better and so what if it does? Why must the public have to be surrounded by multi-decade eyesores to save some business developer some upfront money? I guarantee if they went that extra mile, it would pay off by making people feel better looking at it and giving them business would feel better too. But why is the American Dream always about monetary profits and monetary success anyway?
Can’t we come up with better ways to measure success? How about happier people? Fewer suicides? Fewer mental health issues? Cleaner air and water? More parks everywhere? Better architecture? Higher educational standards? More beauty? Less loneliness? Faster, efficient transportation? More creativity? Less advertising? Quieter, cleaner lawn care? More walkable spaces? Fewer health issues? Better food? Less violence? Lower crime? You see, few of these things are built into the idea of the American Dream. The dream simply isn’t good enough to achieve these things.
If we could somehow manage to expand our vision to include the Community, the County, the State, the Country and the World and all work together with that larger vision, it would eventually come to be. It’s entirely up to us but we need a monumental cultural shift to achieve it. Such a shift would take a generation or two and it starts with our children. Let’s start giving our children better goals in life that they can work with and then pass on to their children. If we did that I guarantee you the World would become a better, more enjoyable place and the nightmare would soon be over. It is not up to us to change the rest of the world but to change ourselves to fulfill the promise of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of True Happiness in the 21st Century and beyond. If we do that, the rest of the world will follow.
